Isolation Station... It's just what we perceive
Guys… Can we all agree that we’ve felt isolated at one point or another? Isn’t it funny that we perceive this feeling as unique to us in that situation. We perceive that no one understands what we’re going through, maybe we perceive that no one knows how to help us, and maybe we perceive that the feeling might not end. But here’s the “secret truth”, it is the perception of our experience of that emotion that keeps us isolate. Yes, not everyone may understand your exact situation, trauma, struggles, hardships. Not everyone may be able to feel empathy for the exact nature of your suffering, discord, or dissatisfaction. BUT when push comes to shove, everyone can express feelings of suffering, no matter how large or small they are when we reflect on our own situations. There are shreds of us within each other. We have all the experience of the human condition.
Yet, when we’re feeling isolated, we retreat to ourselves maybe more than reaching out for help. I know, I’ve been there. It’s a shitty feeling to shrink back and think - If I ask for help what might that say about me? What might others think about my situation? my truth? Are we telling ourselves a story about ourselves rather than being present? Of course, we are! It’s the story that sometimes keeps us even further isolated.
How do we change that perception? Can we bring attention to it lovely? Can we tell ourselves the opposite of that perception and still move forward? Can we even acknowledge that perception and do the opposite? Can we bring kindness to our perception, without judgement? Can we tell ourselves, this perception is only temporary? Can we remind ourselves of a time that we survived that perception? Another truth… up until now, you’ve survived everything you’ve gone through. And I don’t say survived as a down in the dirt, kind of verbiage. I saw survived, as you might have survived it with joy and laughter, you might have survived it with tears and heartbreak, you might have survived it with numbness and sadness, you might have survived it with anxiety and fear, but guess what YOU survived it!
How can we connect and “survive” more together? Who do you reach out to for support and ask to help hold you accountable to get out of the house? to talk to yourself nicely? to meet up for coffee and say nothing?
I love the phrase “take what you need and leave the rest” in relation to advice, suggestions, or ideas. It puts the work in your hands to reflect, ponder, and ultimately put words into action on what’s best for yourself.
So take what you need and leave the rest:
How can we bring attention to our perception loving?
Consider trying Metta or “Loving Kindness” Meditation Practices
Try repeating the following phrases to yourself (maybe with your eyes closed) in a comfortable position
May I be happy
May I treat my suffering with kindness
May I treat my mind with kindness
May I be free from harm from myself
How can we even acknowledge that perception and do the opposite?
Practice doing the opposite with other things. For example, tell yourself I’m don’t want to walk, while walking around your living room. Or maybe, I can’t eat a salad while eating a salad. These practices, give your mind and body a repertoire to pull from that you can in fact do something different than what your mind it doing
Practice telling your mind who’s in charge. Give it a voice of command. Notice the perception and then question it - “HEY! Who’s in charge here? I’m am, not you thought”
How can we tell ourselves, this perception is only temporary?
Create a mantra. Try a few one. Reflect on how each feel, either saying them in your head or out loud. Note which feel comfortable and which feel artificial. If nothing feels like the perfect fit, pick one and commit to trying it for a set number of days. Revisit the others.
Ideas:
This is temporary
One day at at time/15 minutes at time
It’s always now
Breath in, Breath out